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Movie reviews (titles starting with H)
02-03-2017, 02:45 AM (This post was last modified: 05-03-2017 01:44 AM by goodcop2000.)
Post: #1
Movie reviews (titles starting with H)
Halloween (1978)
5 bloody axes

Referred to by some people as "the grandfather of slasher films", John Carpenter's Halloween still holds up today as a classic in the genre. Overcoming a low budget, Carpenter created a genuinely scary, groundbreaking film. The musical score is amazing and adds greatly to the atmosphere. The tension is palpable as we witness the murderous rampage of escaped lunatic Michael Myers, sometimes from the killer's viewpoint. The acting is decent, with Donald Pleasence giving a particularly good performance as Myers' psychiatrist, Dr. Sam Loomis.

Halloween II (1981)
4 bloody axes

This 2nd installment in the Halloween franchise picks up right where the first movie finished. Laurie Strode (played by Jamie Lee Curtis) survived Michael Myers' rampage and is taken to the hospital. Unfortunately for her, Michael is not finished yet. The acting is not quite to the level of the original and credibility is strained when Michael assaults the oddly deserted hospital. However, this is still a way above average slasher film and a fun watch. Director John Carpenter originally intended the Michael Myers storyline to be ended with this film.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
3 bloody axes

This stand-alone story does not involve serial killer Michael Myers but is about a woman investigating her father's murder with the help of an E.R. doctor who treated him. The trail leads to a Halloween mask factory where suspicious activity is afoot. There are some very good special effects but the plot is mediocre and the acting pretty bad. John Carpenter does provide another nice, eerie soundtrack for the film.

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)
3.5 bloody axes

As the subtitle implies, Halloween 4 brings Michael Myers back to once again terrorize the poor town of Haddonfield, Illinois ten years after the original massacre. His target this time is Jamie Lloyd, the daughter of Laurie Strode. Danielle Harris does a nice job playing the 9-year-old Jamie and Donald Pleasance as usual is entertaining as the intense Dr. Loomis. The ending is terrific, surpassed only by the ending of Halloween H20 among movies in the series.

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)
3 bloody axes

Halloween 5 squanders the great ending of Halloween 4 by falling back into the exact same plot. Michael Myers still wants to kill Jamie Lloyd and murders all the unfortunate people who get in his way. As in the 4th film, Danielle Harris and Donald Pleasance do a nice job and newcomer Wendy Foxworth gives a lively performance as teen Tina Williams. The rest of the cast is not very good.

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)
2.5 bloody axes

The 6th Halloween film occurs 6 years after Halloween 5 when Michael Myers was rampaging through Haddonfield, trying to kill young Jamie Lloyd. The movie starts by showing us where Myers and Lloyd have been during that time. Michael then chooses his next target and spends the movie trying to get to him, leaving a trail of bodies in his wake. Paul Rudd gives a somewhat cheesy performance as the now adult Tommy Doyle who was terrorized in the original Halloween. Marianne Hagan is pretty good as Kara Strode, a relative of Laurie Strode who is now living in the old Myers' house with her young son. There are a few decent moments in this film including a scene where Kara is watching Michael Myers murder people through a telescope and then turns the telescope to see her son walking into the same house. However, most of the movie is uninteresting. A hokey explanation is provided in this film for the supernatural abilities of Michael Myers. The soundtrack also does not measure up to the earlier movies.

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)
4 bloody axes

In Halloween H20, we find that Michael Myers' sister, Laurie Strode, has lived in hiding since Michael went on his murderous rampage. Laurie has dreaded the day that Michael would track her down and that day has come! Jamie Lee Curtis does a great job reprising her role as Laurie and the rest of the cast is decent. The movie is pretty exciting and has a terrific ending which really should have completed the series. Strangely, the plot ignores all the events of the fourth, fifth, and sixth Halloween movies. Since Halloween III is a story unrelated to Michael Myers and Halloween: Resurrection is an abomination that should never have been made, viewers who don't have time to watch all 8 movies can enjoy a great horror trilogy by watching Halloween, Halloween II, and Halloween H20.

Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
2 bloody axes

This final installment in the original Halloween series is pretty abysmal. The plot device used to explain away the ending of Halloween H20 and to justify this final film is particularly lame. The opening scene with Michael Myers trying to get to his sister, Laurie Strode, at the mental institution where she is housed is entertaining, but all too soon the story switches its focus to two opportunists played by rapper Busta Rhymes and model Tyra Banks. The couple televise a live reality show featuring six college kids locked into Michael's boyhood home. Predictably, Michael is not happy with this arrangement and he expresses his displeasure with sharp objects. It is nice to see Jamie Lee Curtis play Laurie again but the rest of the performances range from bland and forgettable to downright awful (Busta Rhymes). Rhymes is so bad that his action scenes look like they came right out of the comedy Scary Movie. This is a sad finale to one of the great horror series.

Halloween (2007)
3.5 bloody axes

I was apprehensive about watching this remake of John Carpenter's 1978 film which is not just a classic horror film but an icon in the genre. I have to say that Rob Zombie did a nice job, especially with the more detailed back story showing Michael Myers' youth and Dr. Loomis when he was still trying to help Michael, not kill him. Unfortunately the back story does ruin some of Michael Myers' mystique by showing us the terrible childhood that helped create a monster. I enjoyed the soundtrack which had a mixture of good songs and music from the original film. The movie felt a little too long at the end but this is definitely worth a watch for those who enjoy slasher films.

H2: Halloween II (2009)
2 bloody axes

Rob Zombie's Halloween II is a pretty big disappointment after the nice job he did on the 2007 remake of the original Halloween. The unimaginative plot is not worthy of the Halloween franchise and by the end I was bored and really didn't care who lived or died.

Hannibal Rising (2007)
3 fava beans

Hannibal Rising is a pretty good stand-alone story exploring the childhood and psychological formation of the monster that is Hannibal Lecter. I thought Gaspard Ulliel did a fine job as the youthful Lecter.

The Happening (2008)
3 deadly epidemics

The movie is a little slow-moving and Zooey Deschanel seems to sleep-walk through the first half of it. However, as usual with M. Night Shyamalan, there are some genuinely creepy moments. I find that his films usually have striking visuals and this one is no exception. It just felt like it had the potential to be much better.

Hard Candy (2005)
3.5 text messages

Hard Candy is a very intense and disturbing psychological drama about a 14-year-old girl who meets a 32-year-old man online and meets up with him. The only two actors with significant screen time give excellent performances. The plot is improbable but interesting. Be forewarned. Most of the movie is not gory but there is one brutal scene that seems to take forever. I'm a veteran horror fan but I actually felt sick to my stomach for a bit!

Hatchet (2006)
3.5 bloody axes

Hatchet is a horror comedy with the emphasis on the comedy and the gore. I didn't enjoy the movie the first time I watched it because I was expecting a serious, scary horror. The synopsis of this movie is basically "clueless tourists flee from hatchet-wielding maniac in swamp while cracking jokes". The classic backwoods slasher plot is not complicated but it's fun. The actors exhibit good comedic timing and do a nice job in their roles. I particularly enjoyed the performances by lead actress Tamara Feldman and Deon Richmond who plays the lead actor's buddy. The gore effects are imaginative and very good, but I wasn't impressed by the appearance of the killer. To me, he looks like an updated version of the Toxic Avenger. Horror fans will appreciate brief cameos from horror icons Robert Englund of Nightmare on Elm Street and Tony Todd of Candyman. The movie has one of the most abrupt endings I have ever seen but it makes sense when you watch Hatchet II.

Hatchet II (2010)
3 bloody axes

With twice the budget of its predecessor, I had hope that Hatchet II might be even better than the original. There were definitely more gory death scenes, some of which push the envelope . Hatchet II picks up at the exact moment that Hatchet ended (which explains why the first movie ended so abruptly) with Danielle Harris replacing Tamara Feldman in the lead role. Harris does a decent job but her performance is a step down from Feldman's. Tony Todd, who had a cameo in part one, has a major role in this one. For some reason there are a lot fewer laughs in the sequel. It's worth watching but for me Hatchet II doesn't have the same magic as the first installment.

Hatchet for the Honeymoon (1970)
3 bloody axes

This Mario Bava movie is a mixture of slasher film, ghost story, and psychological horror. Unfortunately it does not deliver the suspense you would expect in that combination. The movie does have some interesting, eerie moments including the serial killer interacting with a menagerie of mannequins. Since it was filmed by Bava, there are some striking visuals. Bava is a genius with shadows and one scene where the killer is hiding in the dark except for a beam of light exposing one eye is beautiful. I would like to rate the movie higher but average to poor acting and a mostly predictable plot prevent that. Also some of the dialogue is really bad but that could be due to the English language dubbing from the original Italian.

The Haunted House of Horror (1969)
3 spooky mansions

I found The Haunted House of Horror to be surprisingly entertaining for a PG-rated '60s British horror film. The title suggests a ghost story but the movie is more of a slasher film. The acting performances are decent. From what I read, the death scenes are supposed to be pretty gory but I watched the movie on network TV and some scenes appeared to be edited. I particularly enjoyed the ending.

The Haunting (1999)
2.5 restless spirits

This remake of a 1963 film assembled an impressive cast including Liam Neeson and Catherine Zeta-Jones but the star power doesn't save the film. The actors mostly do a nice job (with the exception of a weak performance from Owen Wilson) but the plot is too cliche to be interesting. Neeson plays a doctor who invites several people with sleep disorders to an eerie mansion for a scientific study but his real research is on how people are affected by fear. Meanwhile, the spooky house really IS haunted after all. Not much of a surprise there. The film makers over-relied on CGI special effects to carry the movie, forgetting that the best horror is all about tension and suspense. If you're looking for a good modern remake of a classic haunted house story, I would suggest watching The House on Haunted Hill and skipping this one.

The Haunting of Hell House (1999)
3 restless spirits

I watched this film because I thought it was going to be a remake of the 1973 movie The Legend of Hell House, but this is a completely different story, apparently based on a tale by Henry James. This movie is about a college student who finds himself tormented by guilt and haunted by a ghost. He seeks help from an enigmatic professor who seems to have knowledge about metaphysical matters. The plot is slow-moving at times and some of the supporting actors come off like caricatures, but if you are patient the story is rather interesting. The film makers maintain an eerie, disturbing atmosphere throughout the film and place less emphasis on an orderly sequence of events. Most of the acting is mediocre but I enjoyed Michael York's performance as the mysterious Professor Ambrose.

The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008)
3 pentagrams

This is a decent low-budget supernatural thriller. The young, no-name cast did a nice job and I thought it was a good story. It's not very scary, though except for a few "made you jump" moments.

He Knows You're Alone (1980)
2.5 fish tanks

This is a decent slasher film about a killer who targets a bride and her friends. The acting is passable and features the debut of Tom Hanks in a supporting role. Tom Rolfing gives a nice performance as the psycho killer. In accordance with the small budget, there is very little gore. The ending is pretty good.

Heart of Midnight (1989)
3 creepy rooms

This is a very strange psychological thriller. Jennifer Jason Leigh gives a fine performance as a woman teetering on the edge of insanity and the supporting actors are a colorful cast of characters. There are some odd scenes that seem out of place with the rest of the movie but the story comes together nicely in a strong finish.

Hellraiser (1987)
3.5 otherworldly demons

I watched Hellraiser the first time back in 1987 when it came out. Watching it again as an adult, it was better than I remembered, with a sinister plot, freaky monsters, and excellent special effects (for the time). Clive Barker did a nice job directing his own material. Hellraiser exudes the same creepy atmosphere as Wes Craven's original Nightmare on Elm Street.

Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)
3 straitjackets

This sequel tells the story of a survivor from the original Hellraiser who ends up in a mental institution and rightly so after what they went through. I found the plot to be convoluted but there were some very good special effects, especially the appearance of one character who does not have any skin.

Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)
2.5 strange sculptures

This continuation of the Hellraiser saga features a medicore plot and pretty bad dialogue. The acting is also poor for the most part, but Doug Bradley does a nice job as Pinhead and gets to speak more than in the earlier movies. The special effects are not as good as in earlier installments with too much CGI in use. The main problems with the film are that the writers got away from the established rules of the series and the new Cenobite demons are cheesy-looking and funny instead of scary.

Hide and Seek (2005)
4 mutilated dolls

Hide and Seek is a psychological thriller that tells the story of psychologist David Callaway (Robert De Niro) and his daughter, Emily (Dakota Fanning), as they try to cope with a personal tragedy. After a series of odd occurrences, Dr. Callaway becomes concerned about Emily's preoccupation with an imaginary friend. In many movies, the weak link in the cast is a child actor but the young Fanning (approximately 10 years old at the time) is absolutely outstanding in her role. In fact, the entire cast is terrific. Elisabeth Shue and Dylan Baker are particularly impressive. There are some spine-tingling moments in the film and a nicely done twist toward the end. I may be in the minority but I really like this film.

High Tension (2003)
2.5 bloody axes

Let me say at the start that a lot of horror fans love the French horror High Tension, but I did not enjoy it. While the premise is interesting, the actual story is not very good. The plot follows two female college friends who visit one of their families on a school break. Unfortunately for the family, a psychotic killer also makes a visit. Most of the movie feels like the Geico commercial where the kids trying to escape the serial killer make the worst possible decisions. Instead of enjoying the story, I found myself repeatedly annoyed by the ridiculous choices made by one of the main characters. There is a bold, clever twist toward the end that could have greatly improved my opinion of the film, but it only annoyed me further because the rest of the movie's events were not filmed in a manner for the twist to make sense. The acting was okay and for the gore lovers out there, there are some decent special effects.

The Hills Have Eyes (1977)
4 hungry mutants

The Hills Have Eyes is a very entertaining film from director Wes Craven. It's about an unfortunate family on a road trip which leads them to an encounter with a group of cannibals. The story line is fun and the movie has great atmosphere. The special effects are good. The acting performances are not great but I enjoyed watching the villains do their thing.

His Name Was Jason: 30 Years of Friday the 13th (2009)
3 bloody axes

This is not a horror film but a documentary covering the history of the Friday the 13th movie franchise. It is fun to see the many actors again from the different movies, but that is really the only highlight. After being thoroughly impressed by Never Sleep Again which provided great behind-the-scenes information from the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, I found His Name Was Jason pretty bland. Hardcore Jason Voorhees fans are obviously the best audience for this one.

The Horde (2009)
3.5 tasty brains

Despite the presence of large amounts of zombies in this French-language feature, The Horde feels more like an action film than a horror to me. Perhaps it's the cops vs. gangsters angle in the movie or maybe it's the sweet kung-fu action that some of the characters exhibit. Regardless, it is fun to watch. There is a brief setup explaining why several police officers are raiding a crime lord's lair, a confrontation between the two groups, and then we move right into the zombie carnage. No time is wasted providing an explanation for the dead suddenly becoming 1) alive and 2) very hungry but that feels realistic. In a real-life zombie apocalypse, explanations would probably be a long time coming and everybody's main focus would be simple survival. The acting is nothing special in the film but the characters (those that live long enough for us to get to know them) are interesting, particularly Yves Pignot as Rene, an elderly war veteran who relishes his violent encounters with the zombies.

Horns (2013)
3.5 confessions

Horns is an imaginative and original film. It's a combination of horror, fantasy, and drama with some comedy thrown in. The acting is pretty good with Daniel Radcliffe in the lead role. I don't want to spoil anything but Radcliffe's character wakes up one day to find strange things occurring and he embarks on a quest to figure things out. The movie features nice cinematography and a pleasant soundtrack. I do think it runs a little longer than it needs to.

Horror of Dracula (1958)
4.5 dripping fangs

This movie from Hammer Film Productions is a version of the original Bram Stoker novel, Dracula. While the movie takes considerable liberties with the novel's characters and storyline it is actually my favorite film version. Peter Cushing is excellent as Dr. Van Helsing and Christopher Lee gives, in my opinion, the best portrayal of the iconic vampire on the big screen. Lee does not have many lines in this movie but the way he switches from the debonair Count to a bloody-mouthed, animalistic monster is outstanding. The final 10 minutes of the movie when Van Helsing and Arthur Holmwood discover Dracula's hiding place and pursue him as the dawn approaches is fantastic. Fans of classic vampire tales should not miss this film.

Horror Express (1972)
3.5 piercing stares

Horror Express is a pretty fun movie about an anthropologist transporting the body of a prehistoric creature on a train. Veteran horror actors Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing are very good in the film and the monster is creepy.

Horror High (1973)
3.5 broken test tubes

Horror High is pretty entertaining for a low-budget '70s horror. The story is basically Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde with a dash of Carrie added to the mix. The movie features sweet '70s fashion, hair cuts and music. There is a lot of bad acting, but the main characters are not terrible. In fact, lead actor Pat Cardi's performance reminds me a bit of Herbert West from Re-Animator.

Horror of the Zombies (1974)
2 model ships

I have long been interested in seeing Amando de Ossorio's Tombs of the Blind Dead movies because I thought the zombie Templars looked very scary and the idea of zombies tracking victims only by sound intrigued me. I happened across this film by accident. I didn't know it was part of the series but picked it just because of its name. This 3rd installment in the series places the undead Templars on a seemingly abandoned ship that draws in victims like a spider web. Unfortunately, I was very disappointed by the quality of the movie. It is dubbed in English which is a bit distracting but the real weaknesses are bad acting, poor special effects, and a weak plot. The undead creatures move so slowly that it is almost comical. Instead of shambling like a Romero zombie, they slowly shuffle like arthritic, elderly zombies on their way to the early bird human flesh buffet. There is also nothing in the plot referring to the zombies' blindness. From what I have read, the first two movies in the series are much better so I am still holding out hope that I can watch some scary blind zombies in the future!

Hostel (2005)
3 circular saws

I know some folks loved this movie and I agree that the idea of being kidnapped and tortured for someone's amusement is terrifying. However, watching torture scenes makes me uncomfortable in a way that watching people get eaten by zombies does not so I really didn't have a great time with this movie.

Hostel: Part II (2007)
3 circular saws

It's been quite a while since I saw the first installment but I think this one was better overall. It showed both sides of the equation traveling on a collision course...the rich freaks willing to pay vast sums to murder someone and the unsuspecting college students on vacation who were to become their prey. There is not a ton of violence throughout the movie but a few scenes are exceptionally gory.

House (1986)
2.5 rubber suits

This 80's story about a man who inherits a house with monsters in the closet was more cheesy than I expected, particularly the terrible flashback Vietnam War scenes. However, I enjoyed the funny scenes with the neighbor played by George Wendt (Norm from the TV series Cheers).

House of 1000 Corpses (2002)
2.5 bloody axes

Typical "group of young adults loses their way and end up in the clutches of backwoods maniacs" movie. While there were some scary moments, this movie is really nothing special. Director Rob Zombie definitely took inspiration from the original The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

The House by the Cemetery (1981)
3 dark basements

This Lucio Fulci horror is about a researcher who movies to the Boston area to finish a project started by a colleague who committed suicide. The researcher brings his wife and young boy with him and they stay in a creepy house. The voice dubbing is not very good in the film with a particularly shrill and annoying voice used for the young boy. The big weaknesses of the movie for me are the choppy editing and disjointed plot. Some of the scenes make no sense! For example, if you walked into your kitchen and saw your nanny on her knees cleaning up a giant pool of blood, would that not be a concern? I do have to compliment the last 15 minutes of the film which includes some tense scenes and great visuals.

House of Dark Shadows (1970)
3.5 dripping fangs

I greatly enjoyed the original black and white Dark Shadows television show. This film adaptation lacks some of the atmosphere, but does have much better effects and includes most of the key characters in the series played by the original actors. I did miss seeing Dennis Patrick as the sleazy opportunist Jason McGuire and Alexandra Moltke as the family governess Vicky. Who can forget the eerie way she uttered the opening words "My name is Victoria Winters..."? Patrick does appear in the movie as the Sheriff, a much less interesting character than Jason. The star of the show is Jonathan Frid, back in all his glory as the vampire Barnabas Collins who introduces himself to the rich Collins family as a long-lost relative. Nancy Barrett is stunning as Collins family member Carolyn Stoddard and her performance in the movie is even better than her turn as Carolyn on the TV show. The plot moves along very fast, almost too fast, because it covers events that took much longer in the old daytime serial. The editing is a bit choppy, which makes me think they probably had to cut the movie down a bit. I particularly enjoyed the movie because of my fondness for the old show, but I think fans of gothic horror will find it entertaining on its own merits. Be warned that it is rated PG but includes a few violent, bloody scenes that probably would garner a PG-13 in the modern rating system.

House of the Dead (2003)
1 tasty brain

This movie was apparently a prequel to the video games of the same name and featured strange mini-clips from the game inserted at various times during the story. The plot, while thin, could have been interesting but bad acting, lame dialogue, and laughable slow-motion "dramatic" action scenes destroyed any enjoyment that could have ensued. I wondered if I was being too hard on the film and I checked IMDB to find that of the over 24,000 users who rated the movie, 75% gave it a 1 or 2 out of 10. So apparently I'm actually being kind. Side note: I have played House of the Dead:Overkill for the Wii and that was actually a very fun game.

The House of the Devil (2009)
3.5 leg warmers

The House of the Devil is a fun atmospheric horror from director Ti West set in the '80s. The plot revolves around a young woman who responds to an ad for a babysitter but later finds out she has been lured to the home by false pretenses. West does a nice job building suspense throughout the film as well as giving the movie a real '80s feel. The ending was a little weak or I would have rated this one even higher.

House of Frankenstein (1944)
3.5 torches

If you enjoy the original Universal creature features like Frankenstein and Dracula, you will love this movie as it features not only the Frankenstein monster, but also the wolf man, Dracula, a mad scientist and a hunchbacked assistant. Boris Karloff gives a very good performance but it's in the role of Dr. Niemann, not the monster. Lon Chaney Jr. reprises his role as the wolf man and other standout performances come from Anne Gwynne as Dracula's target and J. Carrol Naish as Daniel the humpback. The story is decent but the characters are what carry the film.

House on Haunted Hill (1959)
3 restless spirits

The special effects are limited of course since the movie is from the '50s but spending the night in a haunted house with Vincent Price is always fun. Not all of the other actors are as talented as Price but the piercing screams of the two young ladies are quite impressive. If you like classic horror or are a Vincent Price fan like me this is worth a watch.

House on Haunted Hill (1999)
3.5 restless spirits

I enjoyed this remake of the 1959 Vincent Price film more than the original. It had a nice creepy atmosphere, a classic "survive the night in a haunted house" plot, interesting characters, and decent acting. I particularly liked Chris Kattan as the eccentric caretaker. The only weakness, surprisingly, was some sub-par special effects toward the end of the movie.

The House on Sorority Row (1983)
3 murky pools

This movie is about a group of sorority girls who accidentally commit kill someone and desperately try to cover things up. The story is pretty good but somewhat predictable. The acting performances are pretty bad and the special effects are low budget, but the film does have a great '80s style.

The House That Screamed (1970)
4 special deliveries

This horror movie from Spain, originally titled La Residencia, has the feel of an Italian giallo. It has an interesting plot about a series of murders at a girls' boarding school. The acting is pretty good, especially by Lilli Palmer in the role of the strict headmistress. The film features cool murder scenes, a nice creepy soundtrack, and a great ending!

House of Wax (1953)
3.5 horrible scars

House of Wax is a classic horror film starring the always entertaining Vincent Price. It features a good story about a disfigured sculptor out for revenge. The cast is okay and includes a young Charles Bronson. The special effects are decent.

The Howling (1981)
4 full moons

The Howling is one of the top werewolf movies of all time. It has a solid cast including Dee Wallace from Cujo and The Hills Have Eyes, Patrick Macnee from the great British TV series The Avengers, and
Kevin McCarthy from the original Invasion of the Body Snatchers. The special effects are very good for the time. The story is entertaining and finishes up with a bang.

Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf (1985)
1.5 full moons

I really liked The Howling but this first sequel was so bad that it made me not want to watch the rest of the series. It's not worth going into the details of the ridiculous plot, but it includes werewolf orgy scenes. The writers try to connect the story line to the original but the transition makes no sense and a reshot version of the final scene from the first movie looks terrible. The movie is full of tremendously bad acting apart from horror legend Christopher Lee who appears to be embarrassed to be present. There is bad dialogue, bad editing, and mostly bad special effects although I was impressed by one exploding eyeball scene. There are a few realistic looking werewolf costumes sprinkled throughout the movie but most of the werewolves look like men in ape suits. The only thing I really like about the film is a song by an '80s band that gets played over and over. I only recommend for people to watch this movie if they are they type of horror fan that intentionally seeks out awful films.

Humanoids from the Deep (1980)
3.5 fish monsters

I would not dare to call this campy horror a "good" movie, but I found it to be surprisingly entertaining. If you liked the old Creature from the Black Lagoon and ever wondered what would happen if a whole slew of those things attacked a town and ravaged the women, this is the movie for you. Considering the dialogue they were reading, the actors did not do a bad job. The sea creature special effects were very good. My favorite parts of the movie were a multi-creature assault on a carnival crowd and the shocking final scene. If you want to avoid some gratuitous nudity, there apparently is a tamer 1996 made-for-tv version.

Humans vs Zombies (2011)
3 tasty brains

While this movie is obviously low-budget, it is relatively fun to watch. The no-name group of actors did a good enough job to make me care about the characters. The violence is more implied than displayed so the gore-level on the film is low. Humans vs Zombies is not very scary overall but its best moments feature comedic elements. In particular, actor Chip Joslin is very entertaining and reminds me of a poor man's Jack Black. If you like zombie movies (and why else would you be reading these reviews?), Humans vs Zombies is worth your time.
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03-09-2017, 04:33 AM
Post: #2
RE: Movie reviews (titles starting with H)
I recently re-watched Hatchet and Hatchet II and enjoyed them much more than I did the first time. I was expecting serious, scary horror films when I first saw them and didn't appreciate the campy humor.

I've revised my reviews and adjusted the ratings as follows:

Hatchet (2006) - changed from 2 to 3.5
Hatchet II (2010) - changed from 2 to 3


“By the time I realized the danger, it was scratching at my front door.”
― Max Brooks, World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War
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