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Movie reviews (titles starting with T)
02-04-2017, 06:36 AM
Post: #1
Movie reviews (titles starting with T)
Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990)
4 gory comics

I am a big fan of classic horror comics and Tales from the Darkside delivers the movie equivalent of old pulp horror. There are three separate tales featuring an ancient mummy, a very dangerous cat, and a winged demon. My favorite is the second story, "The Cat from Hell", but I enjoyed all of them. Some surprisingly good actors are in the film including Christian Slater and Steve Buscemi.

The Tall Man (2012)
3.5 missing children

I did not read any reviews of The Tall Man before I watched it, so I was expecting a run-of-the-mill horror about some monster that preys on children. Just when I thought I knew what was going on, the first big twist in the movie threw me for a loop! I definitely did not expect it. More twists follow so you have to pay attention when you watch this film if you want to understand what really happened. Jessica Biel does a nice job in the lead role. If you looking for gore or scary horror, you will probably be disappointed. If you enjoy mysterious thrillers, give this movie a shot.

Taste the Blood of Dracula (1970)
3 dripping fangs

This Hammer production is a sequel to Dracula Has Risen from the Grave and picks up right where that movie ends. The story revolves around three men who get together regularly to explore new experiences. They discover a man who worships Dracula and help him conduct a satanic rite to revive the fallen vampire. The movie is entertaining but lacks some of the excitement of the earlier Dracula films from Hammer. Christopher Lee reprises his role as the Count, but has little screen time. Reportedly, the film makers first planned to make this film without the presence of Dracula, explaining the diminished role.

Tenebre (1982)
4 artistic camera angles

While Suspiria is generally considered director Dario Argento's masterpiece, I personally prefer Tenebre. This murder mystery follows American horror writer Peter Neal (played very well by Anthony Franciosa) on a trip to Rome where a sudden series of brutal murders appears to be related to his newest book. With red herrings aplenty, Argento keeps the viewer uncertain about the identity of the murderer until the end. More importantly, Argento has the gift of turning every murder scene into a work of art with his fantastic vision. Known for his amazing camera work, Argento lives up to his reputation with one scene in particular that features an amazing, continuous shot that travels all around the exterior of a home before revealing the horror within. Members of the Italian rock band Goblin (which did the soundtrack for Suspiria) reunite to provide a very enjoyable, atmospheric soundtrack for Tenebre.

Theater of Blood (1973)
3.5 gruesome murders

If you can suspend your disbelief to get past a plot with some holes, this is a fun 70's horror flick. Vincent Price is terrific as the scorned actor out to gain revenge on theater critics and there are some really spectacular murder scenes. There is a lot of gore but it's mostly done in a darkly humorous manner.

They Live (1988)
3 atomic drops

They Live is one of those movies that is kind of fun to watch even though it is not a good film. It stars WWF wrestling legend Rowdy Roddy Piper as Nada, a loner trying to survive on the edge of society. Nada accidentally discovers that a strange, small group of people is using brainwashing techniques to control the rest of the population. The believability of the plot is extremely low but Piper is decent to watch in action scenes. He puts his wrestling moves to good use in one ridiculously long fight scene that people seem to love or hate. On a good note, I found the mellow, bluesy soundtrack pleasant to the ear.

The Thirst (2006)
2 dripping fangs

The Thirst is a modern vampire flick and it had some decent (and exceptionally gory) special effects. However the story was convoluted, the editing was choppy, and the acting was sub-par.

The Toxic Avenger (1984)
4 barrels of toxic waste

Let me say right off the bat that this Troma Entertainment production is not for everyone. If you are looking for a scary movie or good acting, look elsewhere. The Toxic Avenger is awful, gory, campy, politically incorrect, and completely entertaining. It may be a guilty pleasure, but it is certainly a pleasure! Half-wit janitor Melvin Junko is harassed by the jocks at the fitness club where he works and a mean practical joke ends with his accidental exposure to toxic waste. Melvin is hideously transformed but gains strength and intelligence and becomes a hero for the downtrodden in the corrupt town of Tromaville. The special effects are surprisingly good and the intentionally over-the-top acting is amusing. You have to see it for yourself to understand the attraction of something so silly.

Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010)
4 cold PBRs

I had no idea what to expect from Tucker and Dale vs Evil but it turned out to be a truly hilarious spoof of slasher films. A group of college kids going on a camping encounter two kind-hearted mountain men and mistakenly consider them dangerous due to their appearance. This initial misunderstanding leads to a chain of events that spirals out of control and results in an abundance of bloody (but funny) carnage. Tyler Labine and Alan Tudyk give outstanding performances as the misunderstood country boys. The movie includes both slapstick physical comedy and humorous dialogue (e.g. when Tucker and Dale are trying to explain the situation at their cabin to a police officer). While the film uses the slasher genre as a backdrop it is not scary at all but it's one of the funniest I've seen in quite a while.

Twilight (2008)
2.5 sparkly albinos

This movie wasn't great but at least it was faster paced than the book. I was very disappointed in the quality of the special effects since the movie version was so highly anticipated. The acting was hit and miss.
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