My journey to become a better man.

[StayPuft]

So, I thought of talking about this in the same thread, but I thought this deserved its own separate thread, since this one is all about positivity. One of the good things to come out of my recent relationship issue is that I am finding myself all over again. In a way, I feel I lost myself in that relationship, and I did not like who I became.

But, now I am back, and I am starting to feel better than ever. I even want to make myself a better man. For a number of reasons. For one, some day I want to meet my true soulmate, and I want to be the kind of man who deserves her. But, most importantly, I WANT to be a better man for ME. So, I decided it is time I get involved. I have been looking into some local charities and want to start to get involved with my community.

I want to help people. Even better, I think I may have figured out exactly how I want to do so. It feels great to have made this discovery about myself. I have started to look into it, and am very excited. I am hoping to get more involved as soon as I possibly can. Plus, I’d also like to sort of spread the wealth, so to speak. I want to help out several different charities here and there.

This is just one of the many ways I have begun working to better myself. I have to tell you, it feels really good!

[friskers96]

Sounds like you already made it. Keep it up.

[LFuzer]

Way to go, Staypuft... good things attract good things back, you're in the right way!

[StayPuft]

Thanks, fellas! It has been too long that I've wanted to do something like this and not gone and done it. This is the perfect chance for me to start to become the man I always wanted to be, and always knew I could.

I'll come back here and tell you all more about it if I am able to successfully get into what I am hoping I can. I don't want to jinx myself by talking about it too much before the fact. LOL!

[zachmaio]

Props to you my man, this is all fantastic. I'm so glad so much good is coming out of this!

[zelectah]

One million thumbs up for you StayPuft.

I was in a similar situation a year ago. Bad relationship brake up, got lazy, unhealthy and really unhappy with the person I became.
So I decided I've to change something.
With a list about everything which bothers me about myself I became a better, more self confident, active and stronger person, today.

I still got enough to do and care about but I am on my way and seeing others doing the same, helps a lot and confirms me.

It is never too late to change and become the person you want to be!

[StayPuft]

Thank you, Zach.

And, zelectah,

So sorry to hear that you had to go through all that. But, I am happy to hear that you, too, decided to use it as an excuse to become a better person, and become more happy with yourself. Good for you!

I have to say, I feel like that has really been a theme for me as of late. I've been doing so many things to better myself. It even goes beyond what I was originally talking about in this thread.

I've been trying to eat at least a little more healthfully. I used to take a daily multi-vitamin and had gotten lazy with it, but now I have started taking them again. Helps to at least fill in some of the nutrients that maybe I don't get in my diet.

I've been wanting to get back into my exercising and weight training. I can't currently afford a gym and don't have room for weights in my house, but hope to have a solution for that in the not too distant future.

I even made an important decision. If and when I go back into the "dating world," so to speak, I have to force myself out of my shell. You might not know it here on the boards, but in real life, I am EXTREMELY shy. Other than the obvious like at work, and people who are already friends, I have literally NEVER approached a woman and talked to her. I was too shy. I could never do it. My soon to be ex-wife and I met online (even though we lived 5 minutes apart our entire life without knowing it). Online, I'm not shy.

But, in person I have always been too shy to talk to women, especially when I am interested in them. Well, I decided I have to force myself to start. I am old enough that I need to stop letting life pass me by. In part, that was what I was doing by staying in the marriage even when it felt over to me for so long.

I have to force myself out of my shell. Sure, in this day and age, sometimes women do make the first move. But, for the most part, it still is usually the guys. Besides, it almost something I HAVE to do at this point, even just for myself. I have to get myself over this. I have the feeling that the more I do, the easier it will get.

I used to get crushes now and then throughout high school and college, but I was never able to get up the nerve to talk to them. If I don't break myself of that, I could be letting my true soulmate walk right by. I could be letting the girl of my dreams, the woman who is everything I want in a partner get away.

It is a lot easier said than done. I haven't put it into practice yet because it is still too soon in the process. It wouldn't feel right just yet. But, I am determined to find a way to get over it, because I feel like I have to. It is time to stop letting life pass me by, and time to earn the life I want.

[Kevthenurse]

Hey Staypuft:

I'm new here so you will want to take anything I say with a grain of salt. Have you ever thought about joining a singles club? The best way I've noticed to get over shyness with women is to just constantly be around them. We have Events and Adventures in Minneapolis--I will confess I kind of regret joining them (and I didn't know about the free ones that are around when I signed up...E&A is expensive as hell), but I did get over much of my shyness.

If you ain't got room in your house for a weight set, I would consider a resistance band. You are a dude so I would suggest a heavy resistance one, but do stretch and stuff before you use it.

Volunteer work is a step in the right direction. Two words for you: animal rescue. Women like guys who have a soft spot for animals.

Best of luck, dude!

[StayPuft]

(03-07-2013 10:45 PM)Kevthenurse Wrote:  Hey Staypuft:

I'm new here so you will want to take anything I say with a grain of salt. Have you ever thought about joining a singles club? The best way I've noticed to get over shyness with women is to just constantly be around them. We have Events and Adventures in Minneapolis--I will confess I kind of regret joining them (and I didn't know about the free ones that are around when I signed up...E&A is expensive as hell), but I did get over much of my shyness.

If you ain't got room in your house for a weight set, I would consider a resistance band. You are a dude so I would suggest a heavy resistance one, but do stretch and stuff before you use it.

Volunteer work is a step in the right direction. Two words for you: animal rescue. Women like guys who have a soft spot for animals.

Best of luck, dude!

You may be new here, but you have quickly jumped in and made yourself one of the family. So, I really appreciate your input and support. It's funny, we actually have Events & Adventures around here too. Though... going by your word, I'm not sure I'd want to join. LOL! But, that or something like it actually sounds like a good idea. Thank you. I should maybe try that.

I've also always thought that "speed dating" thing looked like a lot of fun in a cheesey, stupid kind of way. I may have to try that, even just for the laugh of getting to be able to say I did it.

I can't say that I have heard of resistance bands. What are they exactly? Do you just wear them and then do other normal exercises or something?

It's funny you mention animal rescue. I thought about that, but there is one big problem. I absolutely LOVE animals. Actually, that is two problems. One, I think I'd have a problem not taking them all home. LOL! Two, I love animals so much I think it might be too hard to see all the mistreated ones. I have a low enough opinion of humans in general through my life experiences, I don't need more reasons for that. But, maybe at some point I'll have to donate at least some of my time and/or money to something like that.

However, I think I have discovered exactly what volunteer work I want to do. As I said, I don't want to talk too much about it. This is stupid, and I'm not even really superstitious at all, but even so I don't want to jinx myself. LOL! So, I will tell you all more about it as I go along.

[LFuzer]

Gee Staypuft, I'm getting curious now lol...

Anyhoo, I'm happy to know that you're getting out of this situation!!

When I'm feeling down (I can't say that I have gone through what you are going through), music usually cheers me up! I'm very ecletic so there are times I listen to Beethoven, other occasions I go for the Ramnstein, but right now I'm listening to the Queens of the Stone Age, LOL... go for the Songs for the Deaf and by the end of the day you'll feel better - like those Matrix cookies