On work and zombies...the lanyard war.

[Kevthenurse]

Alright, I am going to share a story that I think this community might understand.

I work at a research clinic (believe me, it isn't as exciting as it sounds). We are required to wear bored-as-shit navy blue scrubs with my university logo over the breast pocket. The only means of expressing my individuality is the lanyard; no uniform guidelines dictate the styles of lanyard we may wear.

Anyway, I was shopping at Spencer's Gifts (it is a chain joke shop for those of you who may not be familiar with it), and noticed they had a sale on lanyards.

Score!

I picked up a black lanyard with a bloody heart that says "I <3 Zombies." No profanity, no offensive sayings, right?
Well Halloween was around the corner last year, and one of the researchers spoke with a coworker of mine, and said "Kevin is only wearing that lanyard until Halloween, right?" Thus passively aggressively asking me to remove my lanyard without asking me--and dumping the uncomfortable conversation onto my coworker. Nice.

Against my better judgment, I obliged. I found a lanyard that had letters spelling out "Legalize" and a marijuana leaf. The researcher is a bit older, and probably didn't get the reference. Then at the beginning of this year, it was announced that the nursing staff will rotate between sites.

Yay! I can express my love of the zombie genre once again, right?

Well, no.

It was my rotation at the clinic where the passive aggressive researcher works last week, and she confronted me directly this time (I was surprised to be sure, that isn't her modus operendum) and she said these words:

"Hi Kevin! I have a suggestion for you, it is about your lanyard."

Seeing where this was going, I started to unhook my ID badge and clip it to my lapel, and began removing the lanyard.

"Oh no, you don't have to do it this second, but could you please stop wearing that lanyard?"

She is in a position of authority, so I have to listen to her. She saw me start to comply with her orders (you see, with her lot a request isn't exactly a request...) but she just wouldn't let it go.

"I just think a lot of our [research] participants are Christian, and might be offended by it is all."

That gave me an opening. "I hadn't thought of that. Have you heard any complaints?"

"Well...no."

You have to understand, I have a rather macabre personality and an admittedly twisted sense of humor. It took every bit of effort to make the following comment sound sincere: "I have a I <3 Jesus lanyard at home."

"Well," she said. "That would probably offend another group of participants. You may wear one that says 'I <3 Puppies if you wish."

Oh, how I wanted to say "but Jesus was a zombie." But discretion was the better part of valor that day (I do love my job and would hate to jeopardize it in any way), and I simply said. "Sounds good. I will start wearing my St Catherine's lanyard from now on."

Thus ended the lanyard war. I lost. I still wear my zombie lanyard at the other site where I work, but I can't wear it at the main clinic.

So why such a big deal over a silly lanyard? It isn't about the lanyard is it? It is about control.

Here's my question: do I have the right to be upset, or is the researcher who asked me to remove my lanyard in the right?

[friskers96]

Yes and no... She is (supposedly) looking out for the clinics best interest. More than likely just a hater though. You also have a right to speech and self expression though and she should stick it. It's amazing how we have to stifle our rights to accommodate others, specially when she's expressing hers to the fullest. These days a job is gold and against my better judgement I would have taken it off too.

Side note: my wife is a catholic. Catholic school and the whole nine. I had the Jesus is a zombie debate with her. What a night that was... Thank you for saying that, I'm finally not alone..

[Kevthenurse]

Well, what do you expect? Dead for three days then alive again? Either there is a spawning pit in the Mount of Olives, or Jesus is a zombie.

[friskers96]

ROFLOL!! That's a signature waiting to happen...

[Kevthenurse]

Hehe!

[mqstout]

Long story short: people are retarded and take offense to stupid things. In this case, apparently no one had. Something like a lanyard *should* be one of the few places where someone would be able to "express personality" as it were in a sea of scrubs.

But, you have to listen to the stupid boss...

[samuraitrev]

I'd never even heard the word 'lanyard' before. I goggled them. What a petty thing to get into a power struggle about!

I've got to side with you on this, I wouldn't get resentful about it though I would probably just laugh off the irrelevance of it all. At the end of the day the lanyard thing must have been bugging her for weeks before she had to say something.

kevthenurse 1
lanyardhatingmeglomaniac 0

[Kevthenurse]

"Lanyardhatingmeglomaniac?" That's awesome!

Yeah, that she finally felt compelled to confront me directly is indicative of how much it must have bothered her. Her MO is to get others to do the confronting.

[StayPuft]

I would say you made the right call, Kev. But, I also agree with you. I think it is really stupid. The laynard was perfectly harmless, and anybody who would get offended by that should maybe just go live in a cave somewhere where nothing can offend them.

Honestly, that is one of my pet peeves in life. I HATE people who have to get offended by everything, or try to ruin the simplest, most innocent things by calling them offensive.

That said, I also don't think it was a big enough deal that you should have made a big stink. It's stupid, sure, but not worth bothering to do anything. So, you made the right call in just complying.... Though it is really stupid that you had to. LOL!

[Kevthenurse]

Ah I see. I didn't mean to whine, mostly I wanted to tell a funny story about how people behave when they feel the need to control their environment--I mean just NEED it. But I also got an answer to my question, and validation that I did the right thing.