Edit 2014-01-02 - I had to pull the story from my blog so that it can be considered for a zombie anthology. Sorry to anyone who hasn't yet read it!
Hey everyone, I recently participated in a writing challenge to mashup two pop culture properties into its own unique story. Out of 20 properties I got Ferris Bueller's Day Off and The Walking Dead. The concept is to be able to describe your story as "It's like Ferris Bueller's Day Off meets The Walking Dead" because that's a common way people describe new stories.
Either way, it's got zombies in it, so I thought I'd throw it up here, too, for everyone to hopefully enjoy.
It's probably PG-13 in content for language, violence, and sexual discussion.
I really enjoyed your short story. Dialogue usually sounds so fake but yours sounded pretty natural. It was a pretty good insight into human nature too. Basic needs/addictions still a factor even at the end of the world. Most of all I enjoyed it.
+1 Rep
I had a great time reading this, the only thing that hit me as strange was that a high school student that skips understanding the physics behind a golf swing. I figured he learned by trial and error and promptly settled back in. I enjoyed it and wouldn't mind reading more about the three..
Thanks, folks. One of the things I've been struggling with since my early days of being a writer has been to craft realistic dialogue, so I'm always gratified to hear compliments regarding my dialogue.
I think there's actually a story here that can go beyond the basic premise, that would fall somewhere between The Walking Dead and Zombieland as far as the particular drama and gravity that comes with living in a zombie-infested post-modern world. It would have a lot of humor and reckless action, but wouldn't be a parody of zombie fiction like Zombieland and Shaun of the Dead. If I take it beyond the short story I'd have to really figure out who the main character is, because it won't be entertaining to read about a reckless Mary Sue for longer than a few pages.
And Friskers, I don't think I quite understand your comment about the physics behind a golf swing.
Well first, don't take what I said the wrong way, the part where the narrator describes the 9 iron as having the best velocity to impact ratio seemed odd coming from someone who skips school. They don't typically make it to physics class I would think.
That's the best part though. By the end of the story I get the feel of both ferris and the walking dead influence, but while reading it, it stood on its own. I didn't think of the lead character as "ferris". He felt like the everyday high school student, the rebel leader that doesn't want to be there and doesn't take the whole school thing seriously. He was his own character.
Again I thought it was great, I'd like to read more from this if it happens..
It was a failure on my part to parse the sentence. "the only thing that hit me as strange was that a high school student that skips understanding the physics behind a golf swing." I couldn't for the life of me read it as it was intended, "the only thing that hit me as strange was that a high school student that skips would understand the physics behind a golf swing".
And yes, I agree with that sentiment. It's partly supposed to be just the MC bullsh*tting and boasting, but it also gives you that trial and error knowledge that he has taken down a lot of zeds in his short time.
And once I realized I could make a strange pun about "my trusty 9" being a nine iron instead of a gun, I just couldn't help myself. =P
Lol, I never put that together..
I liked the read. Thanks. I have constructive to add beyond what they said: great dialogue and I want more.
I didn't mind the read the only thing that turned me off was I wasn't able to relate to the characters in the story none of them are like myself or anyone I know. That seems to be a problem in some of the zombie reads I go through. For instance if the character is an emo rocker type with long hair and likes to smoke this is nothing like me or any of my friends or family so I can't delve into what the character is feeling as easy. I won't even feel scared for the character cause I have no emotional attachment to them. So if they die oh well and if they live oh well. The only way to really remedy this is to have more characters from all different backgrounds. This is something the walking dead does so well. The dialogue was good better than average. Next time throw in more weapons other than just golf clubs have one with a club one with a shovel and one with a bat or something like that and you can get more detail into the sounds and motions of splitting a skull with different objects. Hope this helps and Keep on writing.
Thanks for reading, Lythaeum and Alderdust!
@Alderdust specifically: That's some good advice if I continue to drop into horror/zombie fiction. Definitely a bit outside my wheelhouse as I normally go for science fiction, fantasy, or more general literature.
The different weapons thing would definitely become more standard versus the little group we saw. Basically these three are a team somewhat, and they just happen to prefer a bag of golf clubs.
And the note about more characters from different backgrounds, I know I only had three, but the "I can't relate to any of the characters" argument I've always had trouble understanding. I'm not saying you're wrong (definitely not saying that), because it's such a standard response among readers/viewers that I'm almost certainly the one whose viewpoint is skewed. I often read fiction so that I can get behind the wheel of characters whom I don't relate to as an exercise in understanding different types of people better. My focus isn't on "hey this chick reminds me of my sister so now suddenly I care about her" or "this guy is totally me ten years ago, I'm pulling for him". And again I'm not saying you're wrong to have that reaction, it's just one that I really have a difficult time understanding.
Still, they're good points and I thank you for offering them to me, as you didn't have to read the story or comment on it, and I'm very glad you did both. =)