Worst win/loss record as zombie player in the history of LNoE

[Kevthenurse]

I have a problem. When I play zombies, I lose. Always.

There are some scenarios when it seems most logical to me to run the clock (Die Zombies Die, Plague Carriers and Burn it to the Ground come to mind), but it has never worked; so now I try to win by killing four heroes. Only to have my horde cut down by range attacks before I can come close to swarming a hero.

If I have a card I can't use in one or two turns, I discard it. Even if it's a good one (breaks my heart to discard Off Guard, or that card that lets you borrow a hand weapon out of the discard pile (forgot it's name) because I have nothing in melee range). I try to play as many cards as I can so I am constantly running through the zombie deck. Shambles and Relentless Advances are my favorite cards to use so I can get my horde in position. It doesn't seem to last. Most of the time when I play a fight card, it works against me. I can't count the number of times I've given the hero a killing roll with the force the hero to reroll card.

Which brings me to Sally...god I hate Sally....

I don't like to play the card that gives me 2 extra fight dice but causes me to lose on a tie (winning on a tie is a hard advantage for me to give up. Odds are something like 58% to 42% in favor of the one who wins on ties--which makes Johnny particularly hard to kill).

The heroes I play against are so paranoid about landing in the same square as another hero, I don't bother keeping Bickering, This Could be Our Last Night on Earth or Cat Fight! cards anymore.

A lot of times I try to occupy the center, but I am starting to wonder if that is a good strategy (figure it slows heroes down but when all four of them have guns, they are all out in the open).

Perhaps worst of all, the best way I have found to kill a hero before they heal themselves sometimes is if I can drop Bitten or Feel Kinda Strange on them, but please understand I am not exaggerating when I say that the hero players unfailingly have or find cards that cancel the effect.

Even the law of probability says I should have more than one win under my belt by now. We've been playing since December, and my win loss ratio is about 1:10 or so...I haven't literally been keeping track of all my losses but I can guarantee that I have only one zombie win. To be fair though, I am more experienced as a hero player.

Is it possible that we aren't playing right...or do I just suck at playing zombies? <sighs>