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My Mommy and Me
01-14-2010, 07:59 AM
Post: #1
My Mommy and Me
Here's another 5 pager that I just typed up for another contest. This time I have plenty of time to tweek it so please critique.


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.pdf  My Mommy and Me[1].pdf (Size: 6.51 KB / Downloads: 11)
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01-23-2010, 10:41 PM
Post: #2
RE: My Mommy and Me
I thought it was pretty slick. Would play out nicely on film I think.

I wouldn't mind seeing a subtle tie between the husband and the delivery man, be it in the cut scene on the phone, or at the end, but I can also see why you'd leave that vague/up for interpretation.
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01-24-2010, 01:51 PM
Post: #3
RE: My Mommy and Me
It's nicely paced & it does leave you with a lot of questions
& wanting more.

What is the contest about (it's criteria)?

OD

Sighing like the night wind and sobbing like the rain,—
Wailing for the lost one that comes not again:
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