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**Sarku** · 03-05-2013, 02:31 PM

(03-05-2013 03:15 AM)Mater Tenebraum Wrote: If you want to keep sailing OD just remember whose the Captain.

M

Sorry... that's funny. Zombie03

Anyhow, I've gone through a long term girlfriend and a marriage since I've begun this site. (I even had a divorce before this site was even created). Honestly, your relationship sounds a lot like mine was. I kept on giving and she kept on taking. It took me a while to get out of that rut, but I'm a ton happier than I've been in years. Still waiting for the divorce to be finalized, though. Ugh. Insane19

If you're happy, though, how could we ever say anything negative about it? God knows some of the people here read some of my posts when the shit was going down and were like, "Huh?"...

Enjoy your new found happiness!

LFuzer · 03-05-2013, 03:29 PM

Yeah, relationships are tough... I've been 'married' for almost 8 years now. Like everyone else it has its ups and downs, but there is a time when a decision must be made, right?

Here in Brasil we've got the strangest saying that goes "Ou você casa ou compra uma bicicleta" which literally translates as: Either you get married or you buy a bicycle.

If you have bought the bike, then ride it like there's no tomorrow! hehehehe

Anyway, really hope everything works out for you!

Wasteland Jack · 03-05-2013, 03:56 PM

Hey, I feel for you. I really do. it sounds like you made the right decision for yourself. I have always believed that people need to do what they feel is right, even if it hurts. Otherwise they will never truly be happy.

I think you are on the correct path, my friend. Keep looking forward and try not to trip up on what is behind you...

...especially if it is a hoard of undead (sorry, I just had to put that in Watchmen02

)

**samuraitrev** · 03-05-2013, 04:35 PM

That was really brave of you to post that staypuft. Time to move on mate. You can get out of this, just keep looking forward. None of us can go back (even to yesterday). It's time to be strong and believe in yourself.

You can do this!

StayPuft · (This post was last modified: 03-05-2013 09:03 PM by StayPuft.)

Wow! I am really touched, guys! What an overwhelming show of support! I don't think I've ever seen so many responses to one thread all at once! It means a lot to me that so many of you actually ready my dictionary sized message. LOL!

(NOTE: If you actually wish to respond, feel free to skim for the part with you. LOL! This became very long again)

So, I know this is just going to make it very long (again), but you all took the time to respond, so I want to respond to each of you below.

(03-04-2013 09:19 PM)friskers96 Wrote: This is one of those sorry to hear this/good for you moments... You always have to make sure you are happy first... If your needs are not being met, physically/mentally/emotionally/spiritually, your partners won't either. My wife and I have known each other for over 20 years (childhood friends), she is borderline disabled due to back issues and is recovering from a surgery currently. The load and burden are on me atm and it gets rough. But she realizes this and makes an effort to make sure I'm still happy, a kiss, a note, random text.. Little things.. It is funny how a simple little piece of paper can change a persons outlook on a relationship though... Things have changed back since you guys came to terms with what was going on because the weight was lifted, and the chance for loss of your partner became a realization... Complacency in a situation is a bitch sometimes. And in all truth people do change.. Future outlooks change.. I'm rambling again, whenever I hook into your posts I do this. bottom line, if it feels like the right thing for you, then it is. Don't get down, it is nobody's fault, it happens. My father has been married 6 times, and he finally got it right. Sometimes it just takes time. Your a good guy and you self realization IS going to take you a long way.. Keep your chin up, you'll do great.

Thank you, Friskers. And, after reading my post, I don’t see how you can call anything you say rambling. LOL! One of the things that really hit home with me is what you said about if your needs are not being met, your partner's won't either. I know just what you mean. After a while, that relationship honestly turned me into somebody I did not recognize, and somebody I did not like. And, frankly, I don't like myself very much as it is, so I really don't need too much help in the department.

In the end, I know I will be okay. In fact, 100 times better for not being stuck in a relationship where I deserve so much better. It is still a daily struggle not to return to the dark person I was so long ago. But, I really am so much better even now.

(03-04-2013 09:53 PM)alderdust Wrote: Sorry to hear but sounds like you already made amends with the split long before you actually split up, I guess sort of mentally preparing yourself. Just keep your head up man there are plenty of zombie loving women out there. Just remember you got to look out for #1 cause no one else is going to do it for you bud. Let us know if we can help more.

That is, I think, definitely a good way to sum it up. To me, it had been over for a long time, but I am just not the type of person to give up. So, I kept trying to make it work, kept trying to settle and compromise, and kept getting no respect in return, and nothing but take, take, take from her. I think this finally happening just felt too much like I was finally free. When you find your true love, you should always want to put them above yourself, but should never have to. In our relationship, I always wanted to put her above me, and ALWAYS had to. She, on the other hand, only ever thought of herself.

And, alderdust, you are already doing just what you can by being here as a friend, even if it is one I only get to see online. ;-)

(03-04-2013 11:28 PM)mqstout Wrote: It sounds like it happened amicably. You can't ask for much more than that in these kinds of things.

Yes, so far it has. I hope that remains to be the way. I am ready to move on with my life. I have no more room for negativity.

(03-04-2013 11:54 PM)abomination Wrote: Best of luck, hope everything works out for you.

Thank you so much, abomination. ;-)

(03-05-2013 02:50 AM)Old Dwarf Wrote: Well better to start over than just quietly die inside.Marriage is a strange ship,it can ride out stormes,become dead in the water,
just sink or ride the waves.

I've been sailing for some time,basically the voyage depends on the crew,best of luck SP.
Oh when you find the right one have her join TZG.

OD

Yeah. Ships don't sail too well when your first mate is trying to sink it the whole time. ;-)

(03-05-2013 03:15 AM)Mater Tenebraum Wrote: If you want to keep sailing OD just remember whose the Captain.

M

LOL! That is too great, Mater. Thank you for the laugh.

(03-05-2013 03:27 AM)zachmaio Wrote: As bad as the news of the split is I am definitely seeing this as a positive for you. If you yourself (or anyone for that matter) knows that they deserve better and can actually see that and do something about it then I think you're better off than someone who would stay in a relationship like that and just feel as you said unappreciated.

It's great however that this isn't as ugly of a breakup/divorce as it could be, I know plenty of couples married and not whom had terrible splits and everyone just ended up miserable. The end of a relationship no matter how long it's been is always going to be tough but it's how you handle yourself in that situation and others like it that define you as a person. I don't know much about you puft (not even your real name) but from this post I feel like I know more..you're a good guy. Keep your head up man, only good things coming your way from here on out

Thank you. Yeah, to be honest, for a long time I was struggling with it. I always use to think to myself "I deserve so much better... but the thing is I want HER to be that better." To me, we had made a committment. We had gotten married. I am a man of my word. I take my committments seriously. So, I guess I tried for longer than I should have to tough it out. When it comes down to it, I don't feel divorce should ever be taken lightly at all. But, I also never agreed with people who think you should NEVER get divorced. People make mistakes, and you certainly shouldn't have to suffer your whole life because of it.

(03-05-2013 08:00 AM)Emp Wrote: Good luck SP. I also have been married and got a divorce (7 years ago) so I know how it goes. But your divorce seems to go well, mine was not so nice

Good things happen to good people! And you are one of those good guys mate!

Thank you. I appreciate that. And sorry to hear yours did not go so well, bro. I am sure you are better off for it now, though, at least to have it over and done with. Mine has gone okay so far, but hopefully it remains that way when all is said and done.

(03-05-2013 10:46 AM)jimbal Wrote: Sorry to hear about the split up...I too was very recently divorced....finalized in september. I felt exactly how you did near the end but I wouldnt give up because i loved her so much and she finally simply told me we were done and i needed to move out. Anyone who read my story on that contest might understand a little more where my mind was at when I wrote that because that came out of me right when we started the divorce proceedings. My heart and soul were shattered and at the time I thought beyond repair. I recently met someone who seems to compliment so much more than my ex wife ever did, but it still hurt every day knowing that she didnt want me anymore. I never even got a straight answer out of her about what was wrong. She never mentioned anything until she asked me to leave and I was in shock, as were her best friends and her family...no one knew it was coming. She just seemed to pull a 180 on her personality, stopped talking to all her friends and family, and eventually stopped talking to me. Since then I have been doing so much better and this new girl, whle only with her for a short time, feels so right. I dated a couple of other people before i met her, so I feel confident that its not just rebounding going on. So yeah, keep your head up, keep yourself busy, and things will work out in the end. If they dont, you can always just wait for Zday and be the estranged hero.

I am really sorry to hear that, jimbal. It sounds like you are in a similar situation, though. Sounds like you are better off. Glad to hear you have found somebody new. I wish you the best in this new relationship. Though you are early into it, I hope it becomes everything you want. I also hope that some time in the not too distant future, I can be as lucky as you to get my second chance.

(03-05-2013 02:31 PM)Sarku Wrote:
(03-05-2013 03:15 AM)Mater Tenebraum Wrote: If you want to keep sailing OD just remember whose the Captain.

M

Sorry... that's funny.

Anyhow, I've gone through a long term girlfriend and a marriage since I've begun this site. (I even had a divorce before this site was even created). Honestly, your relationship sounds a lot like mine was. I kept on giving and she kept on taking. It took me a while to get out of that rut, but I'm a ton happier than I've been in years. Still waiting for the divorce to be finalized, though. Ugh.

If you're happy, though, how could we ever say anything negative about it? God knows some of the people here read some of my posts when the shit was going down and were like, "Huh?"...

Enjoy your new found happiness!

Sorry to hear about all of your troubles, Almighty Sarku. ;-) I am glad they appear to mostly be behind you, though. Good luck in getting the divorce finalized. Honestly, neither of us even knows how you are supposed to go about starting that. We hope to not have to involve lawyers if possible. We can't really afford them anyway, but we feel we can part amicably. As I've said, I know I will make reasonable accomadations to take care of her. Hopefully she will remain reasonable as well, and it won't turn ugly. But, time will tell.

(03-05-2013 03:29 PM)LFuzer Wrote: Yeah, relationships are tough... I've been 'married' for almost 8 years now. Like everyone else it has its ups and downs, but there is a time when a decision must be made, right?

Here in Brasil we've got the strangest saying that goes "Ou você casa ou compra uma bicicleta" which literally translates as: Either you get married or you buy a bicycle.

If you have bought the bike, then ride it like there's no tomorrow! hehehehe

Anyway, really hope everything works out for you!

LOL! Thank you for the advice. Maybe I should go pick myself up a new bicycle now. ;-)

(03-05-2013 03:56 PM)Wasteland Jack Wrote: Hey, I feel for you. I really do. it sounds like you made the right decision for yourself. I have always believed that people need to do what they feel is right, even if it hurts. Otherwise they will never truly be happy.

I think you are on the correct path, my friend. Keep looking forward and try not to trip up on what is behind you...

...especially if it is a hoard of undead (sorry, I just had to put that in )

Thank you, my friend. Yeah, as much as I expected to be miserable for a while, that is not what happened. I have been excited for the future now. Heck, even though I am not thinking about this for a while, I am even a little excited to date again. For some reason, the fact that I did it, that I went all the way, got married and everything, made me feel okay with myself. I am happy with me now. So, I no longer feel I NEED a relationship. It used to feel like I needed that. Now, I definitely want one, but I can also be happy with me. So, it will be kind of exciting to date again without having to feel like I so badly want to be in a relationship.

(03-05-2013 04:35 PM)samuraitrev Wrote: That was really brave of you to post that staypuft. Time to move on mate. You can get out of this, just keep looking forward. None of us can go back (even to yesterday). It's time to be strong and believe in yourself.

You can do this!

Thank you, Samurai. I definitely am looking forward to my future now. Now, I have a chance to truly be happy. Now, I have a chance to find my true soulmate, or to just be happy with me.

LabRat · 03-05-2013, 09:38 PM

Sorry to hear that, SP. I wish you the best.

alderdust · (This post was last modified: 03-05-2013 11:01 PM by alderdust.)

Eh maybe one day ill be working in a job in Pennsylvania and can come play some LNOE together I have to travel some and it's sometimes to Pennsylvania normally around Pittsburgh. By the way I am doing the 5k run for your lives race in Logan Ohio on may 25th.

StayPuft · 03-06-2013, 09:20 PM

Thanks, Labrat.

And, alderdust, that would definitely be awesome! I live closer to Philadelphia, though. Not really near Pittsburgh. Be sure to let me know if you are ever near Philly. I live in the suburbs of Philly. ;-)

friskers96 · 03-07-2013, 02:11 AM

How far is that from Lititz

alderdust · (This post was last modified: 03-07-2013 02:14 AM by alderdust.)

(03-06-2013 09:20 PM)StayPuft Wrote: Thanks, Labrat.

And, alderdust, that would definitely be awesome! I live closer to Philadelphia, though. Not really near Pittsburgh. Be sure to let me know if you are ever near Philly. I live in the suburbs of Philly. ;-)

Man will I get shot and/or mugged in the suburbs of Philly?

(03-07-2013 02:11 AM)friskers96 Wrote: How far is that from Lititz

How far is what?